How To Put A Manipulator In Their Place?

Have you ever been in a friendship or relationship with a manipulator and want to show them their place read this post.

A manipulator is someone who ignores another person’s feelings. For them their feelings, their needs, their thoughts even their goodwill are supreme and they will try to force it upon the other person. They also take the other person away from others i.e. isolate them to control them.

Manipulator uses Manipulation which is the act of handling something skillfully. For instance, when you maneuver something with your hands, you’re putting it to your purpose, such as a potter turning a chunk of earth into a piece of pottery. In this article, we will learn How To Put A Manipulator In Their Place.

However, humans have their own thought processes. Therefore, it is not an easy task to control them. Humans have their own set of desires, needs, and passions that guide them through life.

When someone wants to take control over a human’s thought process, physical methods might not help, one must know about emotional manipulation.

Also Read: Gaslighting, Pandora’s Gas Stove

Emotional Manipulation

Emotional manipulation is a type of mental manipulation in which a person pursues control of an individual’s emotions, It is often done through convincing, intimidation, or even emotional squeeze.

This sounds nasty and indeed is nasty, however emotional manipulation is not always a conscious choice of the manipulator.

Emotional manipulation can be innate, chronic, or acquired behavior as a result of childhood traumas or advert experiences.

Some people who go through abuse during childhood emerge as manipulative because their caretakers abuse them for trying to show emotions in healthy, direct ways. In some other cases, people tend to be manipulative because they were raised in a manipulative household where it was normal to get their needs met through manipulation, as a result of this people retain this behavior to their adulthood.

Ways To Put A Manipulator In Their Place

Distance yourself from them.

The first and the best way to put a manipulator in their place is to distance yourself from them. The point of contact is the main thing they use to manipulate you. If you stop talking to them they can’t manipulate you. In that way, you put them in their deserving place.

But whenever you try to do this they will they will come crying and if you melt at that point on their method of acting then the cycle will go on.

So, take a pause and stop the connection.

Increase Awareness

Gain information, and understand what is right or wrong, and because of that whenever the manipulator tries to lie to you or manipulate you you can know that.

For example: There was a boy who thought that his father was a villain and didn’t care about him. He was a deadbeat and that was all fed to him by his single mother but the boy when researched found out the father worked hard to pay the child support. The father was doing overtime and many jobs like a bull. And on the other hand, the mother was using the child support his father used to pay elsewhere.

Learn To Say “NO”

If you find it difficult to say no to manipulators, manipulation will be inevitable as the manipulators usually take advantage of this weakness of yours. They might consider you as an easy prey. Know that manipulation is a game for the manipulator and they may not be very interested in you if they find out that you are an easy target. So learn to say “NO” in a respectful manner, while keeping your self-respect intact.

Trust Your Gut

Always trust your instinct, if you do not feel right about someone or something, chances are that it is not right for you. Your gut feelings are your primary method of protection from manipulation, it is your best ally. If you feel something isn’t right, trust your gut and act as per the situation no matter what the manipulator says. Manipulation can be tricky as methods like gaslighting can be difficult to detect with reason only, hence, you’ll have to trust your instinct and act accordingly.

Set Clear Boundaries

Setting boundaries is like drawing a ‘Lakshman Rekha’. Making boundaries clear and visible allows the manipulator to know things you are uncomfortable with. It is polite signaling that you are not okay with certain kinds of behaviors. Also, manipulators tend not to take responsibility for their behavior, therefore, if you do not make your boundaries visible, the manipulator will exploit those boundaries and get out of the situation by saying they were unaware that you are uncomfortable with such actions.

Stay Calm

When dealing with a manipulator try to stay calm. Provocation is a reward for the manipulator. Don’t be reactive to their words, they say hurtful statements to get a reaction out of you. When you feel like giving a rebuttal, just don’t, you cannot win in a game they are professional at. Take deep breaths and try to be composed.

Be Independent

To avoid having issues with a manipulative person, be independent. Do not take their help or do not depend on them for favors. If they still offer you help or present unexpectedly, without you asking for it, thank them and deny the present politely. Be friendly but do not get into close relationship with someone who makes you feel bad and tired.

Don’t Get Caught in Their Web

Manipulators do not perform their tricks in a direct way, they try to be more subtle and indirect. This way the victim is not able to defend themselves as they cannot see the the manipulation coming their way directly. Manipulators usually do this by twisting words, making you doubt your reality. This can be dodged if you stick to the topic and don’t let the manipulator take the conversation in a different direction.

Set Your Priorities Right

The important thing is that you don’t need to face every manipulation technique. The time and effort you are putting into controlling a manipulative person might not be worth it. Manipulators are scared of being told that they are wrong as they want to seem perfect. You cannot correct a person without their will. If things get out of hand you can just leave them on their own, it is not your responsibility to fix everything while putting your mental health at stake.

It’s Okay to Walk Away

Remember that a manipulator’s only goal is to get a reaction out of you, they will not care about your limits when their tactics won’t work. If the manipulator starts to exploit your boundaries, you can just walk away from them. It is “not rude,” it is okay to protect yourself from emotional and mental abuse. 

Seek Support

Do not bottle up your emotions, share your experience with a close friend or a therapist. Moreover, you do not understand reality as it is once the manipulator controls your emotions, manipulators try to loosen your grip on reality. A friend or a therapist can give you a fresh perspective about the situation. Additionally, sharing can lighten your heart and give you the strength to deal with the situation.

Conclusion on How To Put A Manipulator In Their Place

Standing up to manipulators is an essential skill. Learning these skills is kind of a self-care, you can not allow someone else to control your emotions, no matter how much love they showered on you at the start. It is crucial to know that someone who has the potential and intention to disturb your mental and should not be very close to you, it is worse than having an enemy because the enemy does not have access to you or your personal information like weaknesses and strengths.