Have you ever asked yourself why society doesn’t give consciousness to male r*pe, and sexual abuse victims like females? Have you ever asked yourself why society doesn’t pay any attention to male wartime victims like women? Have you ever asked yourself why society uproar when a female gets r*p*d or s*xually a**aulted but not for a male victim? Have you ever asked yourself why there are laws that are designed exceptionally for women, children, the elderly, and disabled people only while leaving men? Do you want to know why? It is because men and boys are disposable compared to women and girls in society’s eyes. You see the problem lies in the idea that “men are strong and they don’t have wombs to continue species.
There is this idea of men being strong and tough and can resist any trauma and suffering because of the g*nitalia they carry, even in society’s eye men’s and boys’ suffering is seen as “part of manning up”. If you look closely and pay attention you will see boys and girls are treated differently by their parents. This is not to suggest that boys and girls are equal or the same but boys are treated like machines compared to girls. Girls can cry and demand various things from their parents they get emotional support from their parents and most importantly girls grow up with many choices. Girls can wear almost whatever they want including boys’ attire, they have many options they can wear their hair long or short, and they can wear earrings or no earrings.- this is not to suggest that we all should cross-dress, it is just to show how much freedom and choice women and girls have.
But boys? They grew up in a very restrictive way, being denied emotional comfort and being told not to cry and suck it up.
Boys also from childhood don’t have many choices like girls. They get circumcised/mutilated without their consent- no bodily autonomy, they don’t have the right to choose whether to keep their hair long or short. Boy will be given a strict road as to how to become a real man and if they don’t measure up they will be treated as a person who lost his manhood or failed as a man. Boys are also cuffed with traditional expectations which is no longer the case for girls, they are thought to provide and protect women, to not hit women even in self-defense, and to sacrifice their lives for women and society. If you pay attention men and boys second guess themselves when they do something to not breach the mainstream definition of masculinity, whereas girls do whatever they want without a second thought because being “feminine” is being free and doing whatever you want while being “masculine” is restrictive and one way. The other thing is the idea of men being strong and don’t have wombs also contribute to male disposability-“ male rape victims, sexual assault victims, and domestic violence victims are a threat to the mainstream masculinity.
They are expected to suck it up and be silent, men’s physical strength works against them because of their physical strength they don’t get seen as victims or people who need support. The other challenge is the idea that men’s and women’s worth lies in their reproduction systems, “men don’t have wombs they don’t continue or they are less needed for the continuity of the species, therefore, they should be drafted, rescued last, denied violence shelter, denied funds for their health, lack of empathy for male war and workplace death victims, etc. Most people don’t know but there is a t*rro*ist group found in Nigeria called “B*k*ha*am” This te**orist group k*dna**ed “300” girls in Nigeria and all the world went into uproar including the developed nations. But the shocking thing is “Bo*oh*ram” also kidnapped 10,000 boys and to this day no one knows where those boys are or what happened to them, no global sympathy for those boys who knows maybe they were r*p*d and killed or forced to be child soldiers.
The other example is in Ethiopia, there are two r**e cases right now, the one is causing uproar around the whole country right now because she is a girl And the other is not getting any attention at all because he is a boy. The girl was r**ed by a no-brainer and the boy was also r**ed br*tally by militants but all the attention went to the girl to the point all headlines reported it, and lawyers, artists, and the public figures went crazy on it but for the boy?- No news no lawyer, artist, or public figure spoke about it. The country’s minister which is called the “women and social minister” published a statement about the r**ed girl but they kept silent for the boy. This is what we call male disposability.
Solution:-
First and foremost men should know this is not only a societal problem but also a systemic problem. The aforementioned things are reinforced by the way of feminism, chivalry, and traditionalism. Men should also know they are the only ones who can change this injustice. Men being strong or having a strong body is a man’s “asset” Expecting or forcing men to go to war, expecting or forcing men to be last in rescue is just like expecting or forcing a woman to perform s*x and give birth because she has a “womb”- her asset. Men’s strength is also related to a lack of empathy for male r*pe and v**lence victims and wartime death victims. Being strong doesn’t mean they are immune to pain and suffering. This needs to change.
The other thing is men don’t carry wombs so they are less needed for the continuity of the species. Well first of all we shouldn’t base our value on our reproductive system, our value should be based on humanity. Let me give you an example:- if a country lost 40% of women aged 18-26 then the other 26-40% of women can contribute to the population, if a country lost 40% of men aged 18-26 then the other 26-40 % of men can contribute to the population. That means women are disposable too. And also what is the purpose of continuing a species that thinks like this?
Bachelor of Computer Science(works as a men’s and women’s rights advocate) and the first Ethiopian NCFM liaison.
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