I led a group for divorcing, divorced, and single fathers for about 10 years. Here’s what I saw over and over from more than a thousand men that came to our group for help;
Also Read: Stages of A Dying Marriage/The Broken Marriage
There is at least a 50% chance you will be divorced. The woman will file for divorce, many times for no serious significant reason; the romance is gone, she doesn’t feel a connection anymore, she wants to see what single life is like, she wants to see what she has missed by being married, or she needs to “find herself”. 80+% of the divorces are filed by women. That figure goes up to close to 90% if the woman has a marketable college degree. When a woman’s close friend gets divorced, her chances of filing for divorce go up by 75%. Women usually have more close friends than men. This makes them more likely to get divorced because of this “support system” that “educates” her on the “injustices” in her life, which she will be told are from the actions of her husband. Of course, there are men that don’t make great husbands, but many times there were red flags that the woman ignored before being married or she thought she could “change him”.
In many states, the woman will get at least 50% of what you worked for all of your life, even before you met her, even though she never lifted a finger to earn any of it. This includes your business if you have one.
If you have kids you will end up paying a huge amount of child support for them. In 87% of divorce cases involving minor children the father only gets to see their child or children every other weekend and one evening midweek. This is only 15% of the time. Although child support calculations vary from state to state, generally figure you will pay about 20% of your before-tax income for one child. Of course, it goes up for each additional child. A judge can impute your earnings, which means he may think you can pay more for whatever reason; you’re not working enough, you can get a better job, he thinks you may have other income, whatever. Basically, the judge can make up a number and force you to pay child support based on that number. There is no accountability as to where and on what the money was spent. There is $90 billion annually spent by the federal government to aid states in child support enforcement assistance. This gives the states incentive to make your child support payments higher than you can afford so the state can claim some of this federal assistance money.
Chances are a father wasn’t a deadbeat, he was dead broke! The family court creates more absent fathers than those who actually abandon their children.
The man probably will be stuck with attorney bills that could easily total into 6 figures for a highly contested divorce. The woman could be awarded some of the man’s future income in the way of alimony, future business earnings, and sometimes other means.
Protective orders are freely handed out by the courts. Commonly the woman only has to declare that she is afraid of you to get a protective order. If your wife successfully obtains a protective order, the cops will show up at your house and tell you that you have 20 minutes to pack some things up and you have to leave. Returning to your house will be a felony. So much for 4th amendment protections! If the woman has used a protective order to tip her side of the divorce scale, you will be removed from your house by people with guns and you will be forced to pay for the wife’s living expenses and possibly not be able to see your children. A man who has a protective order successfully prosecuted against him can never own a firearm and it could jeopardize his career and other positions in the future. Courts love to
issue protective orders because they get federal funding based on their “need” thanks to the “Violence Against Women Act”, which was authored by Joe Biden in 1994. Joe considered it one of his greatest legislative achievements.
If the wife claimed there was child abuse or sexual abuse to tip the divorce scale you also might not even be able to see your kids or you may be allowed to possibly see them with an accompanying court-appointed guardian forcibly paid by you in order to see you,r kids. Of course, this claim could also jeopardize your career and other positions in the future.
A marriage license is a contract with the state. It’s a one-sided contract that gives your wife and the state power over you. If the contract is broken the state will decide on the outcome in their favor. They will make sure their attorneys, counselors, phycologists, guardians, law enforcement, the state, and others will get a significant part of your assets. You will likely be encumbered with an impractical amount of child support, alimony, maintenance, attorney fees, and more expenses to keep the money wheel turning your money into the multi-billion divorce industry’s money. If you have a business worth say 1 million dollars, she may get half the value even though she may have never lifted a finger to help develop or work at the business. You may be ordered by the court to get a loan to pay her a $500K share of it or make payments like $25K plus interest each quarter for five years. Ask me how I know this!
The wife knows she will benefit financially from breaking the marriage contract. She has seen and heard the stories of her female friend’s and relative’s divorces and knows about the cash and prizes they received from a divorce. If the wife is vengeful, which is often the case, she and her female relatives and friends will push to “take him to the cleaners” or “go for the jugular” or “put him out on the streets”. There is a wealth of information on social media like YouTube that will tell you of divorce horror stories. “Coach Greg Adams” is one great source of information on YouTube, but there are many others also. Check out the documentary www.divorcecorp.com
Say over the years you have worked hard, scrimped, and saved $70,000.00 for your child’s college education. A typical hourly rate for a good divorce attorney can easily be somewhere around $350.00 an hour. Let’s say there are two attorneys involved, that $700.00 an hour. Let’s say they each say they worked 2.5 weeks on your case or 100 hours (they probably only worked 20). There goes your $70,000.00 it took years and years to amass. Gone in 2.5 weeks! Don’t forget there are also others that want to have their hands in your pocket.
There is this thing called “Divorce Rape”. You will be gang Divorce Raped by your wife, attorneys, the state, counselors, phycologists, guardians, expert witnesses, financial people, real-estate people, and others. They will all have their hands in your pocket.
Got a prenuptial agreement? Family courts commonly ignore these. I’ve seen it happen. What is your recourse? The judge writes an order violating the prenup and what can you do? If you don’t follow the order, you could end up in jail. If you want to appeal the order, be prepared to fork out $20,000-$30,000 for an appeal. In many states appeals in domestic situations are discretionary. This means the appeals court may or may not look at it. Only 3 or 4 percent of these types of appeals are even considered for review. The same situation occurs generally in family law related to the error in applying the laws. Judges don’t necessarily follow the law. They commonly do what they want. There is little recourse for you other than pouring more money into the situation for appeals that won’t get heard. Corrupt court officials will ignore their oaths and violate your Constitutional and other rights. They will spit in the face of all who served this country and have faced danger and death to provide freedom and fairness to their fellow countrymen and women. All of the actors in this scam have the duty to make their bar association members rich from your assets!
If you are a man, and especially the breadwinner, the court is likely to order you to pay for most, if not all, of these expenses. Can’t pay for any of what the court ordered because the economy is down, your employer downsized, or whatever? No problem, you go to jail. You could be in there for weeks, months, or even years. Yes, years! Don’t believe me? I’ve seen it happen. States the court can “punish” you by taking away your driver’s license and trade licenses. How do you pay child support without a driver’s license or your electrician certification? You can also expect income withholding, suspensions and denials, intercepts, credit reporting, judicial actions, liens, bank, investment, and retirement account withdrawals, and the IRS to help with collecting child support. Federal law, “18 U.S.C. § 228- Failure to pay legal child support obligations”, can imprison you for up to 2 years for not paying child support. Title IV-D of the Social Security Act, P.L. 93-647, reimburses states financially for some of their child support enforcement efforts. Guess what? The harder the state makes if for you to pay child support, the more federal money they get. Ask an older divorced guy about his or his friend’s experiences.
Think of the family court as the family court mafia. It’s not “Truth Justice and the American Way”. It’s corrupt and they want to get as much of your assets as they can. They know an unhappy and especially a vengeful wife will open the door for them to come inside your life and do what they want with it. Some people might call the actions of the courts “Domestic Terrorism”. There are judges that are seriously concerned with fairness in these situations, but they are too few and far between.
A very high percentage of kids in prison, abusing drugs, dropping out of school, committing suicide, getting pregnant, joining gangs, committing crimes, being obese, having physiological problems, and more bad things are from single-mother homes. The percentages of these bad things happening to children are many times more than with intact families or single-father homes. Father’s absence is one of the major causes of the problems children are having today. Any mothers who have pushed the father out of their child’s life are putting effort into damaging their children’s future. It is child abuse! The family courts don’t care. No segment of our society is affected by this problem more than the black community, where in 2021 63% of households do not have the father present and 72% of black babies are born to single mothers. These statistics vary depending on the year and metrics, but these numbers are indicative of studies;
Fatherless Single Mother Home Statistics | Fix Family Courts https://www.fixfamilycourts.com/single-mother-home-statistics/
- 63% of youth suicides are from single-mother homes.
- 90% of homeless and runaway children are from single-mother homes.
- 85% of children who show behavior disorders are from single-mother homes.
- 80% of rapists are from single-mother homes.
- 75% of high school dropouts are from single-mother homes.
- 75% of youth in operated institutions are from single-mother homes.
- 80% of all youths in prison are from single-mother homes.
- 72% of juvenile murderers are from single-mother homes.
- 66% of children murdered are murdered by their mothers.
- 70% of teen births are from single-mother homes.
- 90% of chemical substance abusers are from single-mother homes.
There’s a really good chance your ex-wife will use the kids to torture you in any way she can; alienating them from you, telling them lies, telling them every bad thing that happens is your fault, that you are a bad person, and more. She won’t care how this emotional abuse scars the kids for the rest of their lives. She just wants to harm you in any way she can, even if it means harming her own children. Many men have been totally alienated from their kids at the hands of the mother. I know men that have not seen or heard from their children in decades because of this.
There’s also this thing called menopause. A woman can change her attitude and personality 180 degrees during this time. A very high percentage of women filing for divorce are undergoing menopause. This is when the guy is usually at his highest earning capacity in his life. All child support, alimony, and other “winnings” will be based on his income and assets at that time.
In some cases, the man is pushed into such a bad financial shape that he is living out of his car, eating bananas and peanut butter sandwiches. Any money he has or earns goes to child support, alimony, and attorney bills. They have very little left to live on. I knew many guys doing this and I’ve had quite a few staying in my spare bedroom trying to get back on their feet.
A significant percentage of male suicides are because of divorce. I knew some of those guys.
Watch Carli B’s video “WAP” to see what women think a good woman is and how to get a ring;
It seems the majority of available modern women don’t know how to be a wife; they don’t know how to support a man emotionally, to work to build a good life together, to work for a common goal, to contribute to the relationship, to have empathy and be supportive, to work out problems between themselves. They do know how they want to be catered to. They commonly will develop an attitude of entitlement and self-centeredness, if they didn’t have that before they were married. They don’t help you to win the race; they wait at the finish line for the winner. “It’s easier to change men than to change a man” is a mantra of modern women. Many modern women pursue fun and attention as their goals. Many married modern women commonly sacrifice their family and children for fun, attention, or a job.
There are good women in our society; they are probably living happy lives with a loving family because they helped build that. Finding a woman who has the talent to help create a happy family, especially after about mid-30s, is few and far between.
Some people stay in unhappy marriages for different reasons; kids, finances, family, reputation, and fear of the future. This is part of the 50% that stay married. 25% of these marriages are sexless. How many people stay in an unhappy marriage? Some statistics say 50%. That means 50% of people will get a divorce and half of the others, or 25% of people will stay in an unhappy marriage. That means you have a 75% chance of being unhappy with a marriage situation whether you get divorced or stay in an unhappy marriage, which means there is statistically only a 25% chance the marriage may be happy. Would you jump out of an airplane if you knew your parachute had only a 25% chance of opening?
You have at least a 50/50 chance of at least some of this happening to you! Flip a coin.
The above statistics are only for first marriages. If this is the second marriage for either of you, the chances are around 80% you will divorce. If it’s the third for either of you, the chance of a divorce exceeds 90%!
Any man that is contemplating marriage needs to know about the potential for these things to happen!!!
As for me, I’ve never seen a woman more beautiful than the beauty of the freedom from all of this!
Here’s a little related humor from a song released in 1980 and sung by Jerry Reed; “She Got the Goldmine, I Got the Shaft”. It sums up a lot of things:
Article by: Steve Fox
Also Read: International Men’s Day: Recognition
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